Tomorrow is our last day-I will be bawling.  Even though I've eagerly anticipated this day for the  last two years, I really do love that place and I will miss my classmates dearly. 

Seniors '06!

~

It looks like I'm going to be a Wolverine next year!  So, GO BLUE!! 

I have slowly been tapering down to a final decision-and don't quote me on that wolverine stuff because its not official yet- and things are starting to fall together.  Not come nicely together-fall together.  It seems like U of M is really the place for me.  I don't exactly know why, but when I visited I felt excited about a college for the first time.  On my other visits I was excited to be visiting the college, but never about the college itself.  I actually hadn't visited U of M in a college search way before 2 weeks ago, so I'm kind of thinking that I could have made a decision several months ago.  But probably not.  I think it just took me a year and a half to figure out what I wanted.  Obviously I am sad to be wasting an oppurtunity to go and live in Malibu or to attend and become an alumni of an Ivy League tier school.  My parents don't even care that much about the distance!! So many people would love to live in California for college, and I'm one of them, but I just can't force myself to go somewhere out of a sense of obligation or  missed opurtunity.  In the end its about where I will be happiest and I don't want to regret this decision, I have spent too long making it.  I really didn't want distance to be a factor, but with the California schools it turned out to be a huge one.  Not that I was scared to go and live there because I'm not at all.  But just a lack of familiarity made me lean a little closer to home.  I just didn't know enough about the schools to feel comfortable with them. Even U of M held several receptions and seminars which helped me get to know them even though I hadn't visited.  I'm so indecisive and I need to know every single detail about every decision I make and I just didn't have enough details about the CA schools.  I'm sure I will make my way out there someday though.  And I will enjoy my next four years in Ann Arbor. 

I think I may  be nanometers away from mental breakdown. 

Spring break was nice and relaxing.  I had a lot of "me" time, which I  thoroughly  enjoy actually.  After leaving the beach, it was only a matter of hours before I was again thrust into the horrible world of college decisions.  We went straight from AL to Ann Arbor to visit U of M.  I really really liked it.  I could definitely see myself there.  By the time we got home, I had basically decided to go there.  I walked in and laying on the table was my acceptance letter to Amherst.  I was and am so shocked about that.  I honestly don't know how I could've gotten in.  My grades and test scores don't even register on their scale of "averages".  I hadn't even factored them into the decision because I knew I wouldn't get in.  So,  I guess that makes 100% acceptance (except for that little Claremont incident, which cannot be considered as a rejection or acceptance.) Its nice that all those hours spent filling out applications paid off though.   

I think this is going to be the hardest decision of my life-actually I know it is.  And I am really not prepared to make it, especially not in the next three weeks.  I just want to go to sleep and wake up in the college I am supposed to go to. 

I do not have the time or energy (especially not the energy) to analyze and describe the web of complex emotions I am feeling right now. You can ask me about them if you want-I will probably start crying.  Just know that I am about as stressed and exhausted as you can get.   

Plus my work schedule is messed up for the next two weeks.  I have to find someone to work for me this friday.  And I'm supposed to go on  a college visit next friday to saturday.  I also am supposed to work on friday and saturday.  I think at this point quitting would just be easier.

sorry to rant and rave- I am just freaking out about this...**if only i had just gone to calvin....**  my life would be problem free right now.

oh and on top of all this Senior banquet is just around the corner...

I got into Pepperdine-yay!

I think I've heard from all the schools that will factor into my decision.  So thats bad because I have no excuse not to make a decision anymore.  On a good note-I've yet to experience a rejection letter..... hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.

I think the final four schools are gonna be

~U of M    ~ Azusa Pacific

~ Hope    ~ Pepperdine  

Michigan v.s. California

this will be very interesting.

Elena, you silly girl-go do your 20 pages of remaining essay logs instead of frittering time away on the computer. 

Moral of the post: It doesn't matter where I go to collge because my time management skills suck so bad I am doomed to fail at all of them.

Thanks for the comments everyone :)

Not much going on here.  Still don't know what college I will be attending.  I will know in about a month though. 

Tonight was sr. solo night 1 and I'm super nervous now because I am still trying to master my piece.  (everyone come next monday and watch me)

I have an F in global issues.  I'm going to fix it though-unfortunately the highest I can bring my grade is a C.  Daddio will not be too pleased about that one.  I did not do well this marking period luckily its ok because the words "marking period" were in that sentence and these grades will not kill me. Also, Mr. Brouwer said I could take the exam if I wanted to help my grades. 

We are actually going on spring break-we just decided a few nights ago. So i'm really excited about that because I had resigned myself to going nowhere.  After we get back I'm gonna go spend friday night at U of M.  It should be a good time.

Right now I need to go because I need to get all my stuff for tomorrow ready-I really left it to the last minute this nine weeks.  There are also 50 essay logs calling my name........

Here is a cool quote that I got in an e-mail: 

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."

– Michelangelo Buonarroti

I like that quote-it describes my general feeling about a lot of things.  Too bad I always fall short, but at least I'm aiming right?

~~

edit:  I was just reading amberle's googlisms and i did my own name and I just had to put some of the results up :

~elena is a very special 'package'

~elena is not a very powerful gymnast right now

elena is physically advanced and emotionally stable

elena is a very beautiful young woman with brown eyes and hair

elena is very small and there is not much to do

elena is not a licensed private investigator and she is afraid to break her self

elena is reputably cold and unemotional

elena is in mourning for her brother federigo d'austria who has been executed as a traitor

elena is a fair tempered humanoid

elena is without a doubt the best thing i have ever done in my life

elena is a werewolf who has left her pack

elena is pretty impossible at this point

elena is a striking example of how hiv/aids does not discriminate against anyone

elena is doing inverted giant circles in the top photograph

elena is overweight and bored

elena is nevertheless forced by her father to become the housekeeper for a wealthy woman doctor and her husband

ok, enough.  I just got carried away there were so many "interesting" ones.  That last one will probably come true this summer.